Raging against ageing

Why I am raging and rage is good

Rage can be perceived very negatively. As a synonym for pointless, uncontrolled, and destructive anger. But it’s meaning is more nuanced. Think of terms such as Rage Against the Dying of the Light, Righteous Rage, and Rage Hard. For me, rage is a positive word. It means something you feel passionately about and is causing you to take proactive action. Perhaps rage is the answer to the fear that we inevitably feel which I wrote about in my previous blog here.

The title of this blog comes from my humorous response to a compliment I was paid in the gym – details below. I am raging against ageing by trying to exercise regularly. My focus is strengthening and stretching. Plus I am trying hard to keep my weight under control which, hopefully, will stop me becoming diabetic to add to my other medical conditions to manage.

But I also feel genuine rage about the ongoing global heating crisis and the lack of concern most people have. And who cannot be outraged by macro events? The British zombie government that limps ever onwards to disaster at the election everyone wants. And more importantly, Putin’s murder of Navalny. With various British and American politicians and celebrities acting as apologists for the butcher.

Dealing with holiday blues and kids on half-term

I suppose part of my unhappiness with everyday life is simply that I miss mine and Dave’s brilliant holiday. It’s been more than a week since we returned from Gran Can. I miss the lovely time we had there plus the people we met. Indeed, I keep wondering who is in our room now? It would definitely have been nice to be there for Valentine’s Day. I can imagine how OTT the restaurant and evening menu would be.

Meanwhile it’s been half-term in London. Kids everywhere on the tube seeming to be constantly travelling to and from South Kensington. Never go to the museums during the school holidays. Same reason why I never go abroad during the big school holidays.

We’re screwed and nothing is changing

I feel so much rage and sadness about the way we are treating this planet and what is happening to the environment. I am sure this is partly based on the inspiration given by Bill McGuire’s prophetic book I read last week – details in my previous blog here.

And it’s reinforced with one of my current reading books (‘Venomous Lumpsucker’ by Ned Beauman). Basically a piss-take of carbon offsetting schemes and a likely scenario for mass extinction being allowed.

As a warning, London basks in temperatures of 15 degrees – double what it should be for mid-February. I can’t but think that this is a clear example of global heating. Yes it might get colder as the month progresses. But we know the annual overall temperature is going up and up and up. Yet nothing changes. My raging becomes acceptance and a feeling that perhaps we deserve the crap that is to come.

Extinction Rebellion fighting climate change

Gym: The buzz it gives me

Really nice that one of the gym owners commented on Friday that I looked in better shape and had I upped my exercise routine? I told him that I had and commented it was my attempt at ‘raging against ageing’.

Indeed, it’s been so nice to get properly back to my regular exercise routine post-holiday. This gives me such a sense of immense wellbeing. Three nice workouts on Mon, Wed, and Fri mornings. Sometimes I’m doing an all over body workout. Other days I’m just focusing on certain body parts that I feel need it.

Could have actually been 4 gym sessions last week. Tues morning I could have been at the gym as well. But instead I had to wait in at Dave’s flat for some repair people. This enabled him to go off and have a pancake lunch! The things we do for love…

14 gym sessions since the start of 2024 divided by the annual membership = £39 per session.

Swim: A cheeky little one

Also managed to get in a sneaky session at the swimming pool on Thursday morning. Probably should have had a rest day between gym days but I also need to make sure I get value out of my £20 per month swimming pool membership.

Had planned to do as few as 10 lengths primarily focused on front-crawl. Managed to actually do 20 and a combination of front-crawl, breast-stroke, and back-stroke. I realised just front-crawl is too knackering.


Weight: A key milestone breached

I have been a bit lax with my eating recently, indulging when I shouldn’t. You keep on top of your weight by always being a bit hungry. And the chickens have come home to roost. I have gone back over the psychologically important 13 stone mark; just over but still over.

So, going forward, I need to start watching what I eat and try to push my weight back down. Not least as getting fatter is not going to enable me to try and avoid becoming diabetic.

man weighing himself

Achilles and prostate: ongoing problems

Rage against the dying of the light until a certain point where you just give up LOL. I’m feeling a bit that way with my Achilles which kicked off again at the weekend for no reason. I will keep on with the physio and look forward to the shockwave therapy as this may make a difference. But part of me wonders if the ageing process means this is an injury that will never properly heal again and my days of jogging are gone.

Some good news in that I have finally got a date for my urology appointment about my enlarged prostate. Another condition that us old men have to deal with and, thankfully, some of the stigma around it has gone. The appointment is on a Sunday which is fine by me; a clear example of the NHS trying to catch up and get on top of stuff. It has taken about 9 months to get this appointment.

The fun of Shrove Tuesday

It’s nice to be able to spend time with my mum. Shrove Tuesday in particular was great. Me and Dave brought maple syrup, lemon juice, ice cream, and bananas whilst mum cooked the pancakes. Her speciality is that they are very thick and chunky. She also enjoys seeing people apart from just me so was happy to have a chat with Dave.

pancake day

Dealing with problems at the dentist and my hope to get mum out more

We had to go out on Friday afternoon. Though it was only me taking mum to the dentist and back again, a ‘necessary evil’ she dreads like so many people. Made worse by a kid whose mother was allowing him to run around the dental surgery shouting and going into examination rooms including mum’s. We had words. She just said ‘he’s got special needs’. I told her that she needed to keep an eye on him not least as he could have caused an accident if a dentist was using a drill and was shocked by a child storming into the room.

It is so saddening when people can’t get out much and then have to deal with incidents like this. I really wish mum felt more in the mood to go out of the flat more these days. Perhaps things will improve as the weather gets better. Otherwise, we continue to watch TV together. We are both very much into ‘My 600 Pound Life’ at the moment as well as our old favourite ’24 Hours in A&E’.

Patrick: Doing OK

Only saw Patrick on Saturday morning when I went round with Dave to his flat. Though Dave had accompanied him to hospital the day before. We had coffee at the local cafe after I had sorted out his meds for the week. It is amazing how people are expected to cope with sorting out complex medication cocktails each week. Indeed, I find keeping on top of mine difficult enough at times.

‘The Obelisk Gate’ by N K Jemisin

Just one book finished last week. And note to self: don’t leave it too long between reading a book and its sequel. Particularly if said book is the second part of a trilogy. That was my main problem here. I read the first installment (‘The Fifth Season’) a long time ago. Fortuitously, I saw ‘The Obelisk Gate’ on sale at the library for 50p before I went on holiday. This is an imaginative trilogy beyond most fantasy writing and Jemisin is a very good writer – read about her here.

The world she creates is a savage fantasy one filled with rage and anger (but no dragons – hooray!). On a planet dominated by a single huge continent, a new ‘season’ arrives. A time of massive and unpredictable seismic upheaval leading to knock-on effects of failed crops and refugees on the move to try to find stability.

Within this are huge social divides based on a number of people (Orogones or Roggas) with special skills to control seismic activity akin to magic. ‘Normal’ people hate and fear the Orogones (who sometimes don’t understand their own powers) whilst they also have their own special controllers, the Guardians. I suspect there is a commentary here on modern society and the tensions between different groups.

I remember ‘The Fifth Season’ was a brilliant book. But I had forgotten the plot, the main characters, and how things ended. Thus I had to spend time trying to track how we had got to where we were. However, I’ve already ordered the final part of the trilogy and will read it very soon before I forget the details of ‘The Obelisk Gate’.


I do often have a negative rage around QPR and particularly with our disaster on Wednesday night. A loss to Stoke which put us 4 points adrift from escaping the relegation zone. One goal in it and scored just before the end of the first half. This is a pattern and suggests a team that stops working too early, more keen on having a rest than making an effort.

But then a cracking away win on Saturday against Bristol City with all the teams around us doing badly. Still in the relegation zone but by just one solitary single point. A chink of hope.

QPR old skool

The Week Ahead

  • I’m hoping for a relatively quiet week – live with rage but don’t let it dominate your life
  • Plenty of time to be spent with mum and at least one meeting with Patrick.
  • Target is 3 gym visits and 1 to the swimming pool so long as my Achilles injury doesn’t negatively impact. Though I started feeling rough on Sunday night so I think my plans may be a bit up-ended…
  • Starting to sort out meetings with friends now my wonderful holiday is firmly in the rear view mirror
  • Really enjoying my two current reading books: ‘The Perfect Golden Circle’ by Benjamin Myers and ‘Venomous Lumpsucker’ by Ned Beauman
  • Carry on with my daily Duolingo language learning
  • Some optimism for QPR to get out of the relegation zone on Saturday
Putin and Trump

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