Getting used to what has gone

With overview I think the main thing that happened to me this week was that I permanently lost one of my teeth (again). I had one of my upper back teeth removed about six years ago as it split right through. And now I have lost one of my lower back ones for the same reason. My dentist is great and she did her very best to minimise the pain but it took about four injections to make it relatively pain free. I could feel a pushing which did not hurt and then a pulling which did. Tooth was out but with only two roots. We had to do an x-ray to check a third root had not been left behind which she would ‘have to dig around for’ but there was no sign of it so hopefully it only had two roots. I needed some immediate recovery time that night and the next day – it’s easy to underplay the trauma our bodies can go through. Then spent the week getting used to the new hole in my mouth and adjusting to the fact that I have lost another bit of me forever.

I also attended Velvet book club – an LGBT book club that takes place monthly at Waterstones on Piccadilly. Everyone was really friendly and it was nice just to be with other people who love books and reading though I think the general verdict on Barbara Vine’s ‘The Child’s Child’ was lukewarm and mixed. Before that meeting I took a pile of books I had read to the Exchange in Notting Hill to get vouchers to get more books and the ones they did not want got donated to Gays the Word to be sold second-hand. This is a great example of sustainability in action. And as I get older, I am increasingly aware of the importance of sustainability – reducing and recycling our use of the Earth’s resources. Despite all my reading, Velvet was the first book club I have ever attended. When we talked about books I was aware that I had forgotten a lot I had read or what impression they made on me. This made me think if I consume books rather than appreciate them but is that a bad thing considering the number of books there are? The main book I finished reading this week was Lynne Tillman’s ‘Cast in Doubt’ (1992). It’s theme was an American intellectual expat in Crete during 70s. It was a quite high brow book but thoughtful and evocative especially the way expats often stick together and make their own incestuous community rather than really adopting the country they live in. I am not going to be like that if I do live abroad eventually as I would like to do. Linked into this and my ongoing exploration of Spain as somewhere to live part-time in the future, I booked a week on my own in Madrid in October. It’s a city I’ve never been to before and I want to get to know it. This does mean I will have to miss out on second trip to Sitges this year and unfortunately there is no playa in Madrid.

Trying to improve my Spanish language skills was also one of the reason I saw a great film, ‘The Golden Dream’. It also had excellent reviews and lived up to the hype – go see it. The theme is about a group of young people trying to illegally emigrate to the USA from their home in Guatemala. It clearly demonstrates the sad extremes people go to to escape poverty and get to a better place. Yes there is violence but it is as reality not just for hype. And it is good not to see a film with a Hollywood-ised progress journey where everybody lives happily ever after because that is not what real life is about.

Fitness and exercise wise, I had a good session with my trainer Sara on Monday working on my glutes, hamstrings, thighs to build up the upper legs in order to give greater support to my knees and legs below them. Also a good gym session on Thursday where I sweated. A great run on Saturday going up to 31 minutes (30 secs added) and covering more distance than ever before though it felt like hard work compared to the previous week. There is going to be a gap of about two weeks before my next weekend run as I am away in Birmingham next weekend. So I think when I next run in a fortnight I will aim for 30 mins and start building up the time and distance again. I don’t want to over-reach and injure myself like before. I loved the weather this week with its brightness and heat though it has been refreshing to have the cool weekend weather as well. With the sun, I have enjoyed just sitting drinking coffee and reading whilst looking at sexy people going past especially chunky workmen in shorts.

I’ve been sleeping well though I have this bloody habit of waking around 4am and feeling quite awake. I know I just need to rest and get through it to go back to sleep. I have realised I do actually like going to bed early-ish and reading for a bit then waking up early with energy. I think I would like to be a night person but I have to recognise that I am not, I’m a morning person, apart from special occasions. I had a really interesting experience one night this week when I suddenly awoke with a great revelation. I do think about the past and miss some of the good parts. But I realised if you want the good parts from the past then you also have to take the bad parts because they co-exist. So in many ways, the best thing to do is simply bury the past and leave it buried. Just worry about the present and make audacious plans for the future (the value of being audacious is the thing I took away from Friday’s staff conference). Although one good thing from past this week happened when I downloaded some music from the British Electric Foundation including their classic eighties album ‘Music of Quality & Distinction, vol 1’ – sublime.

In the coming week I am particularly looking forward to doing a one day WordPress training course I have booked myself on. I do want to have a really interesting and exciting website. This means keeping the look stimulating as well as regularly updating content. That is the key thing about websites – content needs to be constantly updated and changed otherwise the website becomes pointless. But we cannot rely on training courses to be the magic answer to everything. Learning also comes by doing and making mistakes. Also learning via being told and if anyone out there is also using WordPress and wants to spend some time to help me improve my site then please give a shout – drinks on me!

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